It never ceases to amaze me the lengths people will go through in order to get up to sing ahead of everyone else. From compliments to insults, all the way to bribes and threats.
Through the years, we’ve heard just about every excuse there is.
At one time or another, everyone tries, and everyone thinks that they should be granted special status and that we should allow them to cut in front of everyone else. We’re onto you and we’re not biting. You’re not fooling anyone!
Listed below are some of the reasons people have tried:
1. I’m leaving soon.
(and your point is???)
2. I sing that song so much better, lemme go next.
(and I see you’re modest too, NO)
3. I’m so-and-so’s friend, and they let me sing all the time.
(usually used on substitute KJ’s)
4. I have to get to another karaoke show.
(oh, forgive me, I’ll get right on that)
5. The owner said I could.
(unless you’re having relations with the owner, then - NO)
6. I really have to leave soon.
(You told me that 40 minutes ago???)
7. I need to sing before I start drinking.
8. I’ve had enough to drink, lemme sing before I get too drunk.
(you can’t hold your liquor, I’m gonna let you hold a microphone???)
9. I have to catch a plane.
(better run really fast, ‘cause those things go like 850mph)
10. I spend lots of money here.
(and do you pay ME???)
11. I’ll give you a tip.
(I’ll give you one - don’t beg)
12. I’m terminally ill.
(but are you dying right now???)
13. It’s so-and-so’s birthday.
14. It’s so-and-so’s wedding.
15. There’s a talent scout in the audience waiting to hear me.
(eh... Simon’s not gonna be sending you to Hollywood anytime soon)
16. I told you... I’m leaving soon.
(are you still here?!?)
17. I’m trying to get with this girl/guy - hook me up.
(what world do you live in??? you think that’ll work???)
18. If I don’t sing next then I’m leaving and taking all my friends with me.
(and we all fit in my Ford Fiesta... buckle-up)
19. We’re only here for tonight.
(oh, so I’ll drop everything then.)
20. I turned my song in over two hours ago.
(really, I feel horrible, because it’s 10:30 now and I started at 9:00 - What did you get on the math portion of your S.A.T.'s?)
21. I turned in a song last week, and you never called me.
(oh I remember, I still had 12 singers and with only 10 minutes left, you wanted to sing again - NO)
22. I have to go to work in the morning.
(then why are you out so late?!?)
23. My ride is getting ready to leave.
(buckle-up and get home safe)
24. Plleeeeease let ME sing.
(usually coming from a girl with really BIG - eyes)
25. C’Mon, NO ONE will ever know.
(oh, you’d be surprised!!!)
This next one actually worked on Pia (otherwise known as the Karaoke Nazi)
"I’m having a horrible day, I was supposed to get here a half hour ago, but I was late. In that time, my #@%! boyfriend hooked-up with someone else and now I just want to sing my song and then go home and cry."
Remember, for this to work again, we’ll need to see proof of the relationship, the hook-up and we’ll need to see the receipt for the quart of Ben and Jerry’s Rocky Romance with Fudge Swirls that you’ll be spooning out of the container.